Still in Denial

Reality has finally set it.  I’m pregnant.  I think seeing images on the ultrasound has help convinced me.  But,  I’ve been in denial for weeks.  I’ve been in shock, I guess.

Growing up I’ve always kept a diary.  So, writing down my feelings came natural.  I wrote this post a couple days after finding out.

(Written 11/24/2012)

It’s been a couple days since we found out we are expecting and it still hasn’t set in. Every now and again I’d run to the bathroom checking to see if Aunt Flo has paid me a visit. I feel like it’s that time of the month and any day now it’ll start gushing. Like any other time of the month, I go hard at the gym to combat the ‘fat’ feeling. All those extra crunches and rockin’ those control top pantyhoses have done nothing to get rid of the bloat. However, I do have a bit more energy. Getting back to a continuous workout regimen has helped. But, my attitude is still in need of some major transformation.

Every time I’d hear that someone is expecting or gives birth, I get excited for her. But, in the back of my mind I’m like, “thank God it’s not me! One is more than enough for now!”

This pregnancy has taken us by storm. I’ve always dreamed of being a mom of two. However, the timing couldn’t be more off. I’m usually a planner, and we are ill prepared to handle another child right now. I should be over the moon and I’m not. Don’t get me wrong. I believe that God has blessed us with this baby. He knows that we’re great parents. We will love him or her with all our hearts. It’s just gonna take some getting used to. It won’t be just the three of us anymore.

I’ve been watching baby videos to get my expectant mommy juices flowing again. That hasn’t worked much. But, I’ll keep watching!

Since it’s Thanksgiving weekend, I won’t be able to set up a doctor’s appointment to confirm our impending new arrival until next week. I’m hoping that seeing the first sonogram will get me out of this denial phase. In the meantime, I’ll keep taking my vitamins and I’ll continue to eat right and exercise.

Here I am at almost 5 Weeks.
I’ve got my control top pantyhose on, but clearly it doesn’t do much to hide the bloat.

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  1. rheapjoy says

    Your not alone, i seen other expectant mothers talk like this. Eventually you will get used to the idea, im not sure how but hopefully sum women who been thru this tell their story. In the meantime Congratz! God doesnt give us anything He will not equip us to handle, just remove any negative emotions so you can think positively and clearly. Stay Blessed!

  2. DarleneMAMmiddleagenomblog says

    Yay! This link worked. I’ve been curious to know what you had to share but the FB link wasnt working.
    Congrats on the impending new addition to your snug family! You will grow into the reality as your baby grows.

  3. Bruce M. says

    You sound nervous, thinking about the expansion of your family. Having 3 myself ( well, my wife and I – LOL) I can tell you that yes, attired it’s darn scary and overwhelming to think about. It sounds like the timing isn’t what you hoped for ( unless I read wrong, it sounds like you are preparing to change jobs). Heck, talk about scared- I was laid off from my job ( at age 27) only 2 1/2 mos after my oldest son was born!). But things always work out. You and your hubby are OBVIOUSLY fantastic parents, with lots and lots of love in you. And you OBVIOUSLY have devoted loving parents who you are close with. Believe me, before you know it, you won’t be able to remember or imagine what life was like with only 1 adorable child. You will feel like your family wasn’t complete before your 2nd child. And there’s no greater relationship (at least when they’re young) than that of siblings. And Princess will be a wonderful big sis – a part of everything you do. What I can tell you to remember ( which I’m sure you already realize ) is that I would shower Princess with gifts every time ( or lots of times) when the new baby gets gifts. This will be a BIG transition for her to, and she needs to know that she remains just as important- sorry, I’m sure you realize that ! So – when the shock wears off … You’ll be fine !
    Wishing you all the best !

  4. stacy says

    Thanks for the advice Bruce. Her dad and I have already discussed that. Princess gets showered with gifts everyday. That won’t change cuz she won’t allow it, nor will her grandma. lol

    Thanks Rheap. I know a lot of women go through this. Some will admit it, and some won’t because they don’t want to come off negative or bring bad energy to the baby. But, I think it’s important to be honest. It helps me with the pregnancy. I’ve always believed in being honest.

    Thanks so much Darlene! I’m glad the link worked. I love getting comments on FB, but I LOVE getting comments on my blog so much more.

  5. Joi @ Rx Fitness Lady says

    Hi! I’ve been following for awhile after I was scrolling through some back SITS feature days. My sister is a reporter/anchor/producer so my initial thrill was by way of that mutual news interest. Anywho, I love your voice! You are too funny! Glad to know you are out of denial. I tried to comment before on your blog couldn’t figure out the blogger system, I’m so new to this:) It looks diff now, maybe bc I’m on my iPad? Anyway, glad to connect! Btw, the old comment was on you not feeling the Santa Clause thing….my cousin is the same way with her kids!

  6. says

    Thanks! Where does your sis report/anchor/produce? I decided to switch to wordpress because the Blogger thing wasn’t working anymore. That’s been a goal of mine for a while and I’m glad I’ve made the switch! Before I started blogging, I found blogger difficult too. Btw, I gave in to the whole Santa thing. But, I my daughter told me she doesn’t like Santa. We’ll see if she changes her mind. But, I have no problems with that. lol

  7. Joi @ Rx Fitness Lady says

    Man, I knew I wasn’t crazy! Glad to know you switched! Yes, I saw that you gave in:) She works at Fox 24/ABC Central here in Macon, GA. Of course she wants to move up to a better market. I’m just enjoying having her here for now. I still need to figure out blogger!