Would you change your appearance to look like another race?

Weather Anchor Mama

People would sometimes ask me if I’m part Asian. I’ll usually respond by saying, “Somewhere down the line.” My slanted eyes are a dead giveaway.

I used to feel self conscious about them. Whenever I laughed they’d become more pronounced. There was the occasional annoying class clown who would slant his eyes by using his fingers, as a way of poking fun. But, I never let him bother me. There were others who would compliment their unique shape. I remember being told by pageant coaches to apply eye shadow and make them pop.

I’ve grown to love my eyes for its uniqueness. I appreciate the encouragement I received from mentors to make them stand out. However, some people aren’t as fortunate. When TV host and anchorwoman, Julie Chen revealed that she went under the knife after being told that her hooded Asian eyes would stunt her career, it brought me back to being teased by that class clown. Even though I never felt pressured into getting plastic surgery to alter my appearance, I do understand the desire to want to succeed. I can relate to Chen’s struggle with wanting to blend in. As an on-air personality, I’ve been told that I wouldn’t be considered for a job because of my dark features. I’ve also been called into the office for my ‘hair issues.’

In the news biz straight hair is often preferred over curly hair. For me, getting a relaxer every six to eight weeks was a must. I no longer straighten my hair, but I do rock a wig. Is that selling out? No, I call it making a smart choice. Rather than fry my own, I’ve decided get a fake one. I’ve got bills to pay and a family to take care of. So, I’ll do what I have to do.

As a parent, I feel that it’s important to set an example for my children. I wouldn’t want them to feel that they must change their appearance to fit in. But at the same time, they may have to find some sort of middle ground. I’m prepared to have that discussion with them when the time is right.

The bottom line is that sometimes you have to make difficult choices in order to reach a goal. For Julie Chen, it happened to be getting plastic surgery so that her eyes would appear bigger. She’s received backlash from people within the Asian community. But for what it’s worth, I applaud her for making that tough decision. It couldn’t have been an easy thing to do. Critiques say that she’s giving in to the Western standards of beauty, but I think she’s courageous. Besides, she doesn’t look less Asian to me!

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Parents: It’s not ok to punch a kids

punchThe other day I saw a mom punch her 4-year-old in the arm. Normally, I’m a very outspoken person. But, I was speechless.  It tears me up inside that I didn’t say anything as soon as it happened.

The following day a co-worker told me about a Long Island cop who was arrested for punching his 3-year-old son in the face. The toddler was later treated at a local hospital for swelling and bruising.

It’s one thing to spank, but punching a child is a whole other story. I consider it abuse. I’ve expressed my thoughts on how I discipline my own child, and I try not to judge other parents. However in both cases, I strongly believe something must be done.

The officer has been charged with third-degree assault, endangering the welfare of a child, and fourth-degree criminal mischief. As far as the mom, I won’t allow myself to stay silent the next time this happens.

If no one stands up for these kids, who will?

Please be sure to check out the full story about the mom who punched her daughter in the arm at BabyCenter.com. You can also read more on my thoughts about spanking here.

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Does a Chris Brown & Rihanna Reconcilation Set a Bad Example?

Photo Courtesy NY Daily News

I don’t usually judge other peoples relationships.  But when it comes to Chris Brown and Rihanna, I have throw in my two sense.  There have been numerous reports that the two may be back on again.  For those of you who may be new to this story, let me fill you in.  The R&B singers made headlines  as a result of a physical altercation that left Rihanna badly brused on the eve of the Grammys in 2009. According to a NY Daily News article, they were recently spotted sneaking off into NYC club bathroom together.  The songstress even admitted to still being in love with Brown in a recent Oprah interview.

As a girl who’s been in her situation, I completely understand how hard it is to walk away.  But, I also feel that these love birds are going down the wrong path.  Many may disagree with me and that’s ok.  However I strongly believe that as a woman, Rihanna is setting a bad example.  There are other young girls who may be going through similar situations and I feel that Rihanna is basically saying it’s ok to go back to the guy who beat you.  Despite my distaste, I do feel sorry for the both of them.

Brown stated in his Larry King interview that he witnessed abuse inside the home as a child.  Rihanna also admitted to growing up seeing her mom being hit by her dad.  The one common denominator is that they both witnessed abuse as kids, and that’s sad.  A healthy relationship begins at home and I strongly believe that it starts with the parents.

I am so thankful that my hubby and I have a healthy relationship.  I can’t front though.  There are times when we argue.  But, it’s normal to have disagreements.  The important thing is that we work through them for our family’s sake.  Our daughter looks up to us.

We plan to have an open dialogue with her, especially when it comes to subject matters like this.  Princess has a while before she starts dating.  But when she does, we’re gonna teach her that no one has the right to put their hands on her.  If they do, there will be consequences.

I was able to walk away.  I hope both Rihanna and Chris Brown can one day do the same.

Do you think a Chris Brown and Rhianna reconciliation sets a bad example for our youth? Do you think that she should just forgive and forget?

Weather Anchor Mama

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What if Your Daughter is Closer to Daddy?

I knew this day would come! I’m always being asked if my daughter is closer to my hubby.


 

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Interracial hate-crimes are far from over

I get asked all the time if I’d ever consider moving out of state, and I usually have a hard time answering that question.  Here’s why…

Reading this NY Daily News article confirmed to me that the world is far from being a bed of roses.  In fact, this story is a nightmare come true.  A young white man innocently walking to a party with his black girlfriend in Georgia gets jumped by three black guys.  It’s crazy to think that this kind of thing still happens.  But, I can’t say that I’m totally surprised.  My hubby and I still get looks when we go out.  We still hear the ‘why are they together’ whispers too.

Now that it’s the three of us, we get those weird (sometimes offensive glances)  followed by a neck break to see what our kid looks like in the stroller.  Since we live in New York, there is a certain level of comfort because we know the area, and we know the people in our neighborhood.  My hubby and I have talked about relocating.  Then we snap back to reality.  The idea of starting all over in a totally different hood or state is scary.  I do realize this particular hate crime an isolated incident.  It could happen anywhere.  But with a child, we have to be super careful.

I’ve had a similar conversation with a friend who also married outside of her race.  This couple has a beautiful daughter.  She’s expressed to me that she’s not concerned about the racial issue.  This family lives in the south and I find it interesting that she doesn’t seem concerned at all.  I remember her saying that the world is changing, and she feels that her daughter won’t have to go through racism.  I admire her positivity.  We shouldn’t live in fear, but I still can’t understand why she’d not worried.  While I agree that the world is changing, these kinds of hate crimes are far from over.

For those of you who beg to differ, make sure you read that Daily News article and watch the video too.  There are no hate-crime laws in Georgia, and that needs to change.

Oh, and just because we have a biracial president, doesn’t mean a damn thing.

Weather Anchor Mama
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What if Someone Called Your Baby Ugly?

Tia Mowry, Cory, & Cree Hardrict YBF

I’m a lover not a fighter.  But if someone calls my baby ugly, then it’s time to take off my jewelry and break out the vaseline.  Lucky for me, I’ve only heard sweet things about my baby girl.  However, not everyone can say the same.  I recently came across this article on Babycenter, where the author criticizes people for making harsh comments about Tia Mowry-Hardrict’s son, Cree.  It’s seems unreal for people to be so rude.

Here are just some of the comments posted on YBF:

“The baby looks like a little old man. It’s not his fault though, his parents chemistries just didnt mix together well.”

“that kid’s head is beyond massive. damn.”

“That baby is beyond ugly. People have the right to say how they feel. The kid is ugly but then again so is the father.”
Tia is obviously a lady of class.  She responds to those naysayers on her Facebook page:

“It’s disgusting that some focus on looks. I brought a beautiful child into this world” – Tia Mowry.

She gets mad props for sounding off and defending her child on Facebook.  Even though I’ve never been in this situation, it does hit a soft spot.  As a mom, I’ll do anything to protect my child.     I’ll admit- some babies are cuter than others.  I’ve seen babies who I wouldn’t consider adorable.  Take it from this former ugly baby (so I’ve been told), verbally assaulting a child is not cool.  If you don’t feel a kid is cute, just don’t say anything.  You can always stick with comments like:
“God bless him/her.”
“What a precious baby!”
You can also focus on beautiful features by saying things like, “She has beautiful eyes.”
As an infant, I remember people saying how much they adored Princess’s head.  Someone also couldn’t stop talking about how much they loved the back of her neck.  I appreciated those compliments.  They could of said, “Dam, she’s bald!!  But, they focused on her beautiful assets.  FYI, there’s nothing wrong with being bald.  I am a former baldy. 
As for Tia’s baby Cree, I happen to think he’s a cutie pie.  To say anything insulting is just heartless.  Just think- would you want your child growing up and reading these negative opinions?
Has anyone ever called your baby ugly?
Weather Anchor Mama  
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