It’s been almost five years since I did the big chop. Aside from an occasional search and destroy, I haven’t trimmed my naturally curly hair. In fact, I haven’t been to a hair salon to have my hair done during that time. My hair has been through so much processing over the years, and with little free time, I never bothered to consult a hairstylist.
But, I finally bit the bullet after my mom and sis insisted that I go. My hair has been in desperate need of a cut, but I was a bit worried. It’s not like I didn’t trust this particular salon. My main concern was whether or not I was sending the wrong message to my daughter.
I don’t know many salons that cut naturally curly hair in its natural state. Most of them shampoo, condition, and straighten curls prior to cutting or trimming hair. Since it’s been a while, I knew I needed more than just a trim.
It took about a few hours and when it was over, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Then, I weight came back moments later. How was I going to explain this to my daughter?
Ever since her “I don’t like my curly hair phase,” I’ve been doing everything in my power to reinforce how important it is for her to love her naturally curly biracial hair. A huge part of reinforcing that is to leading by example. So, was a being a hypocrite when I decided to straighten my hair? How would she react? Will she reject her curls and demand that I straighten her hair too?
I knew that was a possibility. After all, that’s how I reacted as a child. My mom relaxed her hair and because of that I also wanted straight hair. She finally give in when I started junior high school.
I couldn’t understand why she refused to straighten my hair, but now that I’m an adult I totally get it and I’m hoping to pass that message along to my daughter.
Fortunately, I didn’t have to. The minute she saw my freshly out of the salon do she asking, “What happened to your hair?”
“I got a haircut,” I replied.
“I like the other way better,” she said.
All those times we talked about her curly hair and my own hair loss struggles finally got through to her. Those curly hairstyle of the week videos have paid off!
Ever since I straightened my hair, all she keeps asking is when I plan on going back to my natural curls. She didn’t hesitate to tell everyone how she felt. I don’t blame her.
But, I can’t front. I really liked the final look. It brought me back to my relaxed days. I wouldn’t mind straightening my naturally curly hair on specially occasions, but I’d like to continue sporting my kinky hair.
For the record, there’s nothing wrong with straightening curly hair. That’s what makes our hair type so amazing. It’s versatile and can be worn different ways. It doesn’t send the wrong message to little girls at all, as long as you also teach them to embrace their naturally curly hair.
My daughter has no desire to straighten her curls now, but that may change as she gets older. I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.
Do you think that straightening curly hair sends the wrong message to little girls?
Love this – and you’re right! That’s the fun of hair, that you don’t have to take it too seriously and you can play around with it. 🙂 Love how you are instilling in her the importance of embracing her natural curls!
I dont think it sends a wrong message. If anything I look at it as just another way to wear your hear…another style.
Absolutely. I love changing up whenever possible.
I didn’t think it sends the wrong message. I wear my hair straight most of the time and I’m still natural 18yesrs. When I Wear My Hair curly people think I cut it. It’s about what I like. My message is do you and be proud and great at it.