Friendship break ups are never easy. My daughter experienced her first friendship break up the other day, and I’m so proud of her. You may think that’s a bit harsh or insensitive. But, let me explain.
We teach our kids about morals and values. That also has a lot to do with building friendships, and forming healthy bonds with other kids.
I quickly noticed a few “so called friends” that were bad influences on my daughter. They belittled her and often encouraged her to do things that her Dad and I didn’t approve of. But, I didn’t want I get into the habit of telling her who she can and can’t hang out with. I wanted her make those decisions on her own.
What is the true meaning of friendship?
“A true friend would tell you not to go against your mother’s wishes,” I told her.
She was in kindergarten at the time when she asked me to leave the group to say hello to her 7th grade mentor. “No, stay with the group,” I told her. That’s when her friend interjected and said, “just do it.” Moments later I saw my daughter running across the parking lot to see her buddy. Needless to say, I was pissed.
This wasn’t the only issue that came up involving this little girl. So I decided to use that moment to teach my daughter about the true meaning of friendship.
“Friends look out for one another. They make you feel good about yourself,” I said. I went to on to explain that friends respect your family and is kind to everyone.
I was hoping that this lesson would sink in. But I wasn’t sure. Fortunately, the little girl is in a different class this year. But the reality is that I know she’ll come across girls like her again. The question is, how will she handle it?
As luck would have it, my daughter met another young girl in the first grade. I was excited for her because they had so much in common. But it didn’t take long for their friendship to get sour.
Apparently, there were several incidents that made my daughter reconsider being friends with her. She’d come home with stories about how mean the little girl was being to other kids. I think she had enough when my daughter had a bad fall at recess. The little girl went the other way.
My daughter limped her way to the nurse without any help from her “friend,” and it bothered her. When she asked her why she didn’t help, the little girl made up an excuse about other kids wanting to play.
Some people may think, it’s no big deal. They’re just kids. But, it’s a lot deeper than that. Learning how to build a healthy bond starts at an early age. I wouldn’t want my daughter thinking this is normal friendship behavior when she gets older. Come on, is it wrong to teach her to expect more out of people? I don’t think so.
Accepting bad behavior leads to bad relationships and low self-esteem. I can do my best to protect her, but she also has to learn to protect herself too. I want her to choose her friends wisely. If a friendship isn’t up to her standards, then a friendship break up is best.
The Friendship Break Up
She finally ended the friendship a few weeks later. My mother broke the news to me. Apparently, she told Grandma when she picked her up from school. I was called into work and missed the play by play.
My daughter finally got the courage to let her friend know how she felt. They agreed to end their friendship – just like that. I’m sure they’ll be more friendship break ups down the road, and that okay. It’s a part of life.
How many times have we held on to toxic friendships longer than we should? When we finally do let go, we feel free.
At just 6-years-old, my daughter got it down pat and I admire her for that. Friends will come and go, but at she’ll always have a life long best friend in her little brother.
Has your child ever had a friendship break up? How did she/he deal with it?
