Reality has finally set it. I’m pregnant. I think seeing images on the ultrasound has help convinced me. But, I’ve been in denial for weeks. I’ve been in shock, I guess.
Growing up I’ve always kept a diary. So, writing down my feelings came natural. I wrote this post a couple days after finding out.
(Written 11/24/2012)
It’s been a couple days since we found out we are expecting and it still hasn’t set in. Every now and again I’d run to the bathroom checking to see if Aunt Flo has paid me a visit. I feel like it’s that time of the month and any day now it’ll start gushing. Like any other time of the month, I go hard at the gym to combat the ‘fat’ feeling. All those extra crunches and rockin’ those control top pantyhoses have done nothing to get rid of the bloat. However, I do have a bit more energy. Getting back to a continuous workout regimen has helped. But, my attitude is still in need of some major transformation.
Every time I’d hear that someone is expecting or gives birth, I get excited for her. But, in the back of my mind I’m like, “thank God it’s not me! One is more than enough for now!”
This pregnancy has taken us by storm. I’ve always dreamed of being a mom of two. However, the timing couldn’t be more off. I’m usually a planner, and we are ill prepared to handle another child right now. I should be over the moon and I’m not. Don’t get me wrong. I believe that God has blessed us with this baby. He knows that we’re great parents. We will love him or her with all our hearts. It’s just gonna take some getting used to. It won’t be just the three of us anymore.
I’ve been watching baby videos to get my expectant mommy juices flowing again. That hasn’t worked much. But, I’ll keep watching!
Since it’s Thanksgiving weekend, I won’t be able to set up a doctor’s appointment to confirm our impending new arrival until next week. I’m hoping that seeing the first sonogram will get me out of this denial phase. In the meantime, I’ll keep taking my vitamins and I’ll continue to eat right and exercise.
Here I am at almost 5 Weeks.
I’ve got my control top pantyhose on, but clearly it doesn’t do much to hide the bloat.
Weather Anchor Mama
