I recently wrote a post on my BabyCenter blog that has sparked a conversation regarding words we should teach our children not to say. I’m not necessarily referring to profanity, but words some of us may use everyday that could impact our children in a negative way.
Words like fat, stupid, can’t, ugly, and diet are simply not acceptable in our house. I’m shocked at the negative responses I received in the comments section of my post. Many parents who chimed in completely disagree with my sentiment, and that’s okay. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I think people may be over thinking the point of my post.
It’s one thing to order a diet coke and say you can’t physically fly. Obviously, I wouldn’t consider that negative. The point that I’m trying to make is that sometimes words can hurt. We all know that kids are going to hear and see things that may not be appropriate. It’s completely up to us as parents to decide how you want to handle the situation.
There are times when we many innocently ask, “Do these jeans make me look fat?” That’s a no-no. I wouldn’t want my kids to hear that. I wouldn’t want them to view themselves as fat. I also think that if a child is being told that he or she is fat and needs to go on a diet is wrong. It could lead to poor a self-esteem and poor body image.
The BETTER approach, as I stated in my post, is to focus more on healthy eating and exercise. It’s all about getting the right nutrition. As a matter of fact, a lot of companies like Weight Watchers avoid using the word “diet.” Instead, they focus on healthy eating and a healthy lifestyle.
The word ugly is just not a nice thing to say, especially when used to describe someone. I wouldn’t want my daughter calling someone ugly and stupid, for that matter. Please remember that we’re talking about kids here. They’re still learning how to express themselves. I think it’s best to teach them how to be positive, and how to verbalize their feelings.
For instance, saying that you don’t want to play with a child because he or she is stupid is not a nice thing to say. But, maybe there’s more to it than that. Maybe that child did or said something mean. Sometimes the only way for kids explain how they feel is to say that a child is “stupid.”
When it comes to the word can’t, I just don’t allow my kids to say that. Again, I’m not talking about the obvious “I can’t jump off a building and fly like a bird.” I’m referring to my child saying something like she “can’t draw or color.” I encourage my kids to keep trying and not to give up.
Unfortunately, there are children who may hear these words and think they’re not good enough. They may have a hard time with self-acceptance. My goal as a parent is to provide positive reinforcements, build self-confidence, teach my children how to be kind, and how to express their thoughts. These are important lessons that I hope will help them along the way, and one day pass along to their kids.