The challenges of raising multiracial kids are real. In fact, it’s been on going topic here on my blog. Some may call it paranoia, but I call it keeping it real. My husband and I knew about the bumpy road ahead when we welcomed our daughter in 2010. When I gave birth to our son three years later, I knew there would be a whole new set of obstacles. Can my white husband teach our son to be a black man? I asked myself.
Can My White Husband Teach Our Son to be a Black Man?
Our son is biracial. I am black and his Dad is white. Although we teach our children that they are the best of both worlds, society paints a different picture. He’ll be forced to choose a side. The “one drop rule” means he’ll be labeled a black boy by society. That said, our son may have hard times later in life because of it.
I could do my best to teach him about his identity, as I do his sister. But let’s face it; I’m missing one key component – I am not a black man. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not implying that his Dad isn’t a good father. He’s great! But there may be questions and issues that may come up down the road and I’m not sure we’ll have all the right answers.
How We Relate to NBC’s Hit Series, This is Us
I’ll admit society has come a long way in depicting families like us. Now we’re seeing a lot more multiracial families and interracial couples on screen. Most recently, I started watching This is Us on NBC.
The series follows siblings Kate, Kevin and Randall as their lives intertwine. Kate and Kevin were originally part of a triplet pregnancy. However, their biological brother was stillborn.
While their due date was October 12, 1980, they were born six weeks early on August 31. Their parents, Jack and Rebecca decide to adopt another newborn (Randall), a black child who was born on the same day and brought to the same hospital after his biological father abandoned him at a fire station.
The show tackles so many issues that families experience. But, one theme that sticks out to me the most is the challenge this white couple faces raising a black boy. I’m sure many transracial adopted families can relate, but my multiracial family can relate too.
There’s one scene in particular where the adopted father, Jack, takes his adopted son, Randall to a martial arts class. A black male Sensei teaches the class, and the other students and their dads are black.
Jack is instructed to lie down on the mat in a push up position during an exercise , while Randall climbs on his back.
“Jack your back was built to carry your son through life. Are you willing to hold him up no matter what comes his way?” The Sensei asks.
“Yes,” Jack answers.
He starts doing push ups while Randall lies his stomach on his Dad’s back.
“Are you willing to raise this boy into a strong man. Are you willing to push him to be the best man he could be?” The Sensei asks.
“Yes,” Jack responds.
“Are you willing to lift him to greater heights even if it hurts?”
“Yes,” he says.
Then Randall then lies down on the back of a fellow student’s Father. He continues doing push-ups with the Randall on his back.
What Will We Teach Our Biracial Son?
The scene is so powerful. I immediately thought of my husband and our son. Can my white husband teach our son to be a black man? I still ask myself that question from time to time. The answer to that is simple. My husband isn’t black. He doesn’t have the same experiences as black men.
But he can teach him to be a strong man. He’ll push him to be the best man he could be, and will do whatever’s necessary to take our son to greater heights.
There will be questions as he gets older, and I’m not sure we’ll be able to answer them all. However, we will be there for him. We’ll also reach out to people who can answer those concerns as they come up.
Hey, no ever said that raising kids would be easy. But, we’re doing the best we can.