Raising biracial children has unique challenges, including struggles with identity. My husband and I have had so many conversations about the best ways to approach raising multiracial kids. Providing them with unconditional love is a given, but the reality is that there’s a lot more to it than that. We discuss this topic in our latest Couples Chat.
When Anastasia and O’Shea were babies, I’d often get mistaken for the nanny or someone would ask, “is he/she yours.” Let’s not forget the awkward stares whenever we were out with them. In addition to insensitive comments, people would break their necks just to get a look at the cute biracial baby lying peacefully in the stroller. Rather than scream at the top of my lungs, “mind your business,” I’d smile and keep it moving.
Fast forward to 2022 and a lot has changed. Our children are no longer babies or toddlers, they’re big kids now. They can express their thoughts and opinions, and have no issues speaking their minds. Throughout the years, we’ve never avoided having conversations about racial identity.
In fact, if you’ve been reading my blog from the beginning then you know that’s always been the focal point when it comes to our parenting style. The goal is to raise confident children and that begins with knowing their identity.
“You are black and white, but society will view you as black,” we tell them. Culture is also a big part of their upbringing. My Jamaican heritage is celebrated, in addition to their Dad’s Irish, German, and American background.
For us, transparency is key. That means having tough conversations about knowing their place in the world. We’ve already begun having conversations with our 8-year-old son about the way some may view him in society. “As you get older, you become less cute and more of a threat,” I told him. It became clear after an incident in the bathroom that left him with no choice but to defend himself. Upon hearing about the altercation, the teacher labeled our son as the aggressor. I became Mama Bear. After reaching out the the school’s principal, “bathroom-gate” was investigated. Ultimately, the truth was revealed, and the matter was resolved.
Sadly, that may not always be the case. Our children attend a predominantly white school with no black teachers or faculty members. Words can’t describe how frustrating it is. We believe the lack of diversity sometimes results in the lack of understanding. But sending them to a different school isn’t in the cards right now.
In the meantime, we do our best to make sure we find other ways to make sure they’re exposed to ‘authority figures of color’ through various activities. No one said raising biracial children would be easy. Despite the many challenges, we enjoy each moment and never them for granted. Fortunately, our children are thick as thieves. We’re so glad that they can also lean on one another for support.
