I’m at my wits end! I’m almost 4 and 1/2 months post relaxer. I’m losing my mind and my hair. Now, I’m missing teeth. Can things get any worse? Ugh.
Weather Anchor Mama
OMG! I’m Missing Teeth!!
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Sounds like it’s time for a BIG CHOP. You’re creating more work for yourself at this point. I always tell women transitioning that it’s like dating your hair. You have to figure out it’s quirks and personality. What products it likes and which ones it doesn’t like. What works for one person doesn’t work for everyone. Date your hair.
Whoo… I hope things start getting easier for you. Poor thing. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
It will get better. I promise. I’m 100% natural after transitioning for 2 years. The easiest way to get through this time is to Big Chop or wear a protective style. The daily/weekly handling of transitioning hair will only raise your blood pressure. Consider braiding your hair and wearing extensions or a wig. Only redo your braids and cut relaxed ends when they loosen (wash hair while braided if you go the wig route). Beleive me. It’s the easiest way to get through this time. Hang in there! 🙂
^^^^^^^^^Anonymous seems to have some great advice! I would say braid till its long enough to cut to a comfortable length too. I have had tough times with growing my hair out before from a short pixie cut and it was hellacious. Hang in there! I started wearing my natural texture so no more blow dry or flat iron or curls. Well, sometimes I will. But everyday I wear it natural. Its been more frustrating dealing with the weird wave and frizz but I can tell my hair is healthier for it. Oh yeah, and no more color too. Did I mention I am a hairstylist? Haha so yeah sticking with my natural texture has been interesting! Take care hang in there and it will get better! =]
I couldn’t imagine going over my hair with that dyer comb. I remember as a child my mom would try to use it on me and it would just pop off the dryer but the teeth wouldn’t break. I already know my hair is too thick and I’m not trying to fight with that. I’ll use a wide tooth comb then go back with my denman brush to really define my hair and get all the tangles out. To help with the detangling for myself, I love my Giovanni’s Direct Leave-in Conditioner. Put it in and wait a couple seconds and all the tangles will be gone. It works better than the Kinky Curly Knot Today in my opinion. Keep trying. Transitioning is the toughest part. Once you’re done, you’ll think your hair is a piece of cake.
Me too! Thanks Tara!
Thanks! You make me feel so much better! When did it start getting easier for you? I’ve been wearing it in braids lately. I rock a wig at work, then shampoo and condition on the weekends. If I work out, I my co-wash mid week. Thanks for the tips!
I plan on straightening once in a while too. I love wearing a wig to work. It keeps me from stressing over my real hair. lol I can also see the difference in my hair too. It feels much better. Thanks Ashley!
I’ve gotta get a denman brush. I hear they’re great! Really? I gotta check it out! I can’t wait for that cake! lol
I transitioned for eleven months; it was no joke at all. It was so horrible, I hated wash day. I would try aloe Vera juice, it really help prior to washing your hair. I would also try washing your hair in sections (at least 10 sections) when you wash your hair, hold on to the section. RenieceHairTV has a great video.
I’m really starting to hate wash day too! I’ve heard about aloe vera juice. I wish I had 10 sections! I still have a huge chunk of my hair M.I.A. lol I can do four though. Do you wash in the shower or over a sink? I’ve been using the sink. The drain in my shower gets clogged.
Look up the curly girl method on you tube. Mahagony curls has some good videos and a very informative blog. Hope this helps.
WAM – you are such a strong woman. It’s amazing that you lasted this long already. All I can say is goodluck, I know you will be happy in the end when you have beautiful, healthy natural hair. Who knows, this could be inspiration for me to start a journey too (I am not there yet tho, I am still just on my healthy hair journey)
Hi Stacy!
Try Silicon Mix that is a dominican hair product. It is an intensive deep hair treatment. It works. It worked for me! I stopped relaxing my hair in 2006. This product helped me during transition. It softened and strengthened my hair. I’m of Dominican decent and I have thick & curly hair. Try it. It will work. Best to you always.
Transitioning sucks I have been natural for over a year and still keep it cut since my hair texture is much nicer because it’s curly when wearing a TWA (teeny weeny afro) next month I will start wearing box braids not micro braids box braids using human hair. My hair grows pretty fast but I hate the thickness and tight curlyness of dealing with it once I achieve the desired shoulder length which causes me to either relax it then I’m back and phase the again with the cutting it wearing a TWA. Gah!
Dominican products is wonderful but don’t always work on Afroamerican hair. Although Dominicans hair may look almost like we have some of the same grain but their hair is very much difference difference. That is why they can get the bow out after a roller set. Our hair will break and thin out doing that to our hair, it looks good and bouncy but our hair will show evidence of heat damage 3 cycle of getting another wash and set with a blow. When I used to get roller sets from the Dominicans I would skip the blow and just have her wrap or pin me up.
I had the same problem one day during my transition, so at that point i big chopped and then rocked twist and a wavy front under a beany for weeks. i promise you if you visit natural85, kimmyatube and african export on you tube you will not have any more issues. My hair is now more than 12inches long and I only started in late 2011. My hair is growing more than expected and recently I was able to do twist in a pony tail and a bun twist. My favorite you tuber is natural 85 and i would suggest you purchase terresential mud wash, you can only buy this online because the stores are not in New York. I was skeptical at first but once i saw natural85 and other use it I became hooked. After using this, you will not experience the tangling issue again especially if you cut the permed ends that are left. lastly stop using the blow dryer. I didn’t even use a blow dry on my hair when it was relaxed. I always roller set and then wrapped. You will find once you drop the blow dryer and buy all your oils and since you are in New York get your african shea butter from 125th street, that your hair will become so moisturize and soft. Once you become a full natural you will not even need a comb anymore, you will be able to detangle and comb with your hands. Please visIt the youtubers i mentioned.
Thanks for the tip! I just ordered the mud wash. I can’t wait to try it. I’m familiar with all the sites you mentioned. Do you use a separate conditioner. I know Naptural makes her own and Kimmay tube has her own leave in recipe. I love know today. But I would love to find another deep conditioning treatment. I don’t use a blow dryer anymore. Since doing the big chop, I’ve been focusing on maintaining moisture. I’ve been playing around with finger detangling. I think I’m gonna try that some more. Thanks.
Yes, I create my own deep conditioners with all home products, I mix oils (Oils are the best deep conditioners) and cut up an avocado, banana, add plain greek yogurt and honey, things like that, and I sit under a heated cap for about 30 minutes or while I’m doing house work. I even do the mayonnaise thing once in a while, but all my deep conditioners are homemade. I use the kimmyatube method as a leave in, replacing the kinky curly with the govanni leave in conditioner and I do this every other day because I take bikram yoga 4-5 days a week and my hair can get dry from the salts your body releases. I alter the ingredient for my texture. I find adding more oil gives it a good slip, in that it releases shed hair easily and detangles, so I do not need to use a comb. I also spritz the hair night and day lightly with the water/giovani leave in/alove vera gel (lilly of the valley brand from fair way and vitamin E. This is all in a spritz bottle, it should be a milky like consistency. I promise you will love the Terresentials, if you don’t I will buy it from you. i just made the same deal with my cousin as well. Keeping my fingers cross for you.
Oh When I reapply my leave ins, shea butters and oils doing the week. I just apply it right over my twist without taking them out and put my pony tail holder on again. I don’t undo my twist unless I’m wearing a twist out/fro. This weekend I made flax seed gel and it laid my frizz down! It gets the hair so tamed, Love it!