I get asked all the time if I’d ever consider moving out of state, and I usually have a hard time answering that question. Here’s why…
Reading this NY Daily News article confirmed to me that the world is far from being a bed of roses. In fact, this story is a nightmare come true. A young white man innocently walking to a party with his black girlfriend in Georgia gets jumped by three black guys. It’s crazy to think that this kind of thing still happens. But, I can’t say that I’m totally surprised. My hubby and I still get looks when we go out. We still hear the ‘why are they together’ whispers too.
Now that it’s the three of us, we get those weird (sometimes offensive glances) followed by a neck break to see what our kid looks like in the stroller. Since we live in New York, there is a certain level of comfort because we know the area, and we know the people in our neighborhood. My hubby and I have talked about relocating. Then we snap back to reality. The idea of starting all over in a totally different hood or state is scary. I do realize this particular hate crime an isolated incident. It could happen anywhere. But with a child, we have to be super careful.
I’ve had a similar conversation with a friend who also married outside of her race. This couple has a beautiful daughter. She’s expressed to me that she’s not concerned about the racial issue. This family lives in the south and I find it interesting that she doesn’t seem concerned at all. I remember her saying that the world is changing, and she feels that her daughter won’t have to go through racism. I admire her positivity. We shouldn’t live in fear, but I still can’t understand why she’d not worried. While I agree that the world is changing, these kinds of hate crimes are far from over. Those who are being accused of committing a hate crime or any other types of felony should consider seeking the services of criminal solicitors.
For those of you who beg to differ, make sure you read that Daily News article and watch the video too. There are no hate-crime laws in Georgia, and that needs to change.
Oh, and just because we have a biracial president, doesn’t mean a damn thing.
Weather Anchor Mama
It’s such a sad commentary on our society. There are STILL so many ignorant, narrow- minded people in this world. How can people be so hateful ?! Just look at that pic. What a beautiful, loving family you are !
Bruce M. C
Hey Stacy Ann, have just come over from Coffee Friday. Unfortunately, I don’t think we’ll ever be rid of racism or religious hatred, I think it’s sad in this day and age. I still find it amazing when everywhere you look, you see mixed race/religion children and yet some people insist on remaining ignorant. I think half of my friends are married outside of their race and I wouldn’t even get started on my family – my parents aside, we have all married outside of our colour and sometimes religion. Is New York more mixed and tolerant?
So terrible that hate crimes do exist these days. We are a melting pot of many races here in LA, but those crimes still happen. So many people are just ignorant and biased. That is a beautiful picture of your family! God bless!
You and your husband shouldn’t be afraid the live anywhere in this country, but I do understand and respect your concern. As long as there are have people that hate, it’s going to be there. Hopefully and I pray constantly that we really get ourselves together in this country. Great post, take care. Beautiful family!
I completely agree with you. Just last night I got looks when I was out with hubby. It’s frustrating but things still have not changed. Yes, they have gotten better but they haven’t changed.
I cannot believe they do not have hate crimes in Georgia.
It’s hard to believe that such ignorance and hatred still exists, doesnt’ it? I try so hard to teach my kids not to be disillusioned by the ugly behavior of people, but I get so disillusioned myself. Stopped by from the SITS Sharefest. Glad to find your blog! Best wishes to your lovely family.
You have a beautiful family! I’m also in an interracial marriage (although I often forget that) and we also live in New York. I never feel that people are judging us, but I sometimes wonder if that’s because neither one of us are white. Either way, when we travel, it crosses my mind that one or both of us could have an experience like this. I just try to stay positive.
Stopping by from SITS.
Pricilla
I don’t understand. I really don’t. I don’t understand why people are mean and hateful and violent. My brain has difficulty processing it.
I wish it were gone. I do everything I can in my scope of influence to change it. I hope we are both around and just looking back at racism as a distant memory some day.
You have a beautiful family, by the way. And a fabulous smile.
Happy Sharefest. I hope you have a great weekend.
They don’t call NYC a melting pot for nothing. If you’re ever in the city, you’ll see all kinds of people from different backgrounds. Outside of the city, there are some neighborhoods that are cool. But, there are some that still don’t seem to agree with interracial dating/marriages. For the most part NY is mixed and tolerant.
I know. It’s so sad that these things still happen, especially with a growing diversity among people. Thanks so much for the compliment.
I know the feeling. So annoying. Now that we have Princess with us most of the time I haven’t been noticing those stares as much. We always have to keep our eyes on her.
Thanks Pam! Returning the favor!
Do you ever get looks or comments when you leave state lines?
Thanks Missrobin!
I don’t understand it either. When I read this article and saw the story it made me so angry. I hope things change soon.
My husband and I get looks from time to time. I never know what they mean because we are almost always with our children. So since we have 3 children …I think we become a spectacle every where we go. We use to get a lot more rude looks before we had children and now we get mixed reviews. Hate to say it that way…but you can just tell when people disapprove. People seem very interested in our kids. They always want to touch their hair. Which is kind of odd…but yes…it happens. They are amazed by the curly hair. I’ve had moments where I was completely surprised by a compliment from an unexpected source..and I’ve had moments where I think flames where shooting out of my eyes because I got upset from someone staring. Now I just mostly smile back and it makes them uncomfortable and they look away. 🙂
I’ve often wondered if we didn’t live in the South it would be better….if we would go unnoticed but that hard to say. It doesn’t seem like that is the case.
I notice that too! We got a lot more looks of disapproval before Princess. People want to touch their hair????????No!!!!!!! I’ve been teaching Princess to politely say “please don’t touch my hair.” I don’t know what it is but people always want to touch her hair. I know the longer it gets the more they’ll want to run their fingers through it.
I think you’ll get looked at anywhere you go. The question is…are they doing it because they disapprove or do they think you have a beautiful family? (I look because I think it’s beautiful and I can relate) In NY we get a little of both. But we don’t have any problems where we live. Thank goodness!
I was so sad to read that article, but unfortunately, like you, I was not surprised. I am African American and my husband is white. We live in Manhattan and have a beautiful three year old boy. I didn’t notice a ton of looks when we were dating and I don’t notice a lot of looks now. I feel very comfortable in NYC. My husband and I have discussed moving to California (where he grew up), but we’re not sure where. It’s very important to me that we live in a community that is tolerant and ethnically diverse. I’m shocked to hear that your friend believes her biracial daughter won’t experience racism. I think your friend is in denial. Things are much better in this country than they used to be, but unfortunately racism still exists.
I use to live in JC, NJ and worked in NYC. I miss the diversity. I live near Flint, MI which is fairly diverse. My husband (African American) and I (Caucasian) have spoken about “the looks.” We do not recognize it if it happens. We do see people looking at our daughter though, but everyone looks at every baby. When she gets more hair, others may want to touch it but we’ll teach her just as you are teaching your daughter to kindly say “Please don’t touch my hair.” If anyone has had an issue with my dating outside of my race, it has either been family who have not met the guy yet think he is a trouble maker or black women who think “us white women are taking their good men.” Sometimes words are not spoken, but there are just certain vibes that come across this way. I would love to move to New York. I miss it. We currently bought a house though in a city near Flint. We would never live in Flint thought due to the lack in the education system.