When my husband and I first started dating, the last thing I thought about was our race. In case you didn’t know, he’s white and I’m black. We’ve been married for almost 10 years now, and he’s the love of my life. I always knew that there would be people who disagree with our relationship, but we never let it affect us.
Viewpoint Photography
After all these years we still sometimes get the awkward stare, the double take, and even those who think we don’t notice them whispering about our family.
We’re not the only ones dealing with this type of bigotry. A friend recently told me about an Oprah interview with Tamera Mowry. The Sister Sister star tearfully described the racist comments that were written against her marriage to husband, Adam Housely, on social media sites.
“I get called ‘white man’s whore,’” she said. “The new one was ‘back in the day you cost $300, but now you’re giving it to him for free.’”
Housely responded to those same racial remarks in an interview with TVNewser,
“The fact that in this day and age, we get attacked for our interracial relationship is beyond sad…it is pathetic,” he said. “Yes I am white. Yes she is half black. Marrying a white man does not erase her color and marrying a woman who is half black does not mean I am blinded. The problem isn’t pigmentation…the problem is backwards, bigoted thought from people who should know better.”
It’s crazy that this type of hate still exists. It’s 2014 for goodness sake! Not too long ago I encountered the same issue. I had posted this photo below, which led to an idiot making racist comments about my family. I won’t give this guy the satisfaction of repeating his insults. Facebook has since removed the thread from my page.
I recently learned that there are social media pages and websites that focus on spewing racial hate. I couldn’t believe some of the comments made about my family by people I had never met before. The funny thing is that the majority of them would never say these hateful comments it to our faces. They just hide behind their computers, and whisper behind our backs.
This kind of thing used to drive me nuts. But rather than get upset about it, I feel sorry for these who people waste all of their time and energy bashing interracial couples and families. Just think of all the horrible things going on in the world that deserve our attention.
Here’s a clip of Tamera’s interview
Yup! That’s all you can do and just keep it moving!
We just had an encounter a week before Christmas. We took our daughter to go have breakfast with Santa. A man behind us was talking about the interracial couple who had just walked by. Then he turned and saw us and very loudly pointed to our daughter and said “and there’s ANOTHER one!”
I gave him the dirtiest look I could muster and walked away. He wasn’t worth my time.
People need to understand that underneath it all, we are ALL the same! We belong to one race and that is the human race.
It seems to me that those who are going into an interracial relationship must have a certain mindset, particularly if they decide to have children. Clearly, one would have to become even stronger, and resolve to rise above the criticisms and the maltreatment from racists. If the parents aren’t strong and resilient enough to counter the racism and the ridicule that interracial couples face, then their children will have a very difficult time, because they learn coping skills by observing how the parents react and handle racism. I’m not optimistic that the world will change anytime soon, where prejudice will be completely erased. Therefore, you have to stand firm and do whatever it takes to make your children confident, happy, secure and fully aware of their rights to “be” in this world, in spite of the cold hearts of bigots.
I watched you on television and was pleased to discover your blog a few months ago. I’m also in a mixed/blended family. I’m African and married to a man of European descent – aka “white” 🙂 – and we have a 2-month-old daughter. Like yourself, I love and am proud of my family dynamic!
I’ve been hyper-sensitive to “race” throughout my life and studied anthropology as a result. I’ve dealt with looks, comments, and then some; sadly, I’m prepared to continue to do so, but will not allow the negativity to penetrate my happiness. I will teach my children to be proud of their backgrounds, whiile also providng them with the tools to explore and understand the circumstances of the world we live in (like the roots of systemic & subconscious racism).
The internet, as amazing as it is, is also a haven for cowards and underground bigots. I’m sorry to hear you’ve had to deal with internet trolls; that’s so damn sad. It is disgusting that some people attempt to inject bigotry and ignorance in an auora of love. They will not break our force-fields of happiness 🙂
For all the hatred out there, there’s more love; I hope this continues to be the case as our children grow. Congrats on your family, blog, and career. Keep up the great work sis!
Thanks so much. Always good to get insight from people in interracial relationships like myself.
I am a black woman married to a white man as well. We have a beautiful 2 year little girl whom we adore. My heart hurt for Tamera when I read this article a few days ago. Thankfully, for the most part my husband and I have not encountered such blatant behavior from other people; however I must admit to being very aware of our surroundings whenever we are outside of our hometown. I know that not everyone is as accepting as our friends, family, and community, and I am not naive enough to believe that we won’t ever have someone make a comment at some point in our lives. I will never understand how my interracial relationship can threaten someone who doesn’t even know me. All I can do is focus on my husband and my daughter and live my life the best way I know how. At the end of the day, love is all that matters and I feel sorry for the people who will never understand that.
It’s a sin to mix races.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
Black with black.
White with white.
The way GOD intended.
In response to the woman who wrote that it’s a sin to mix races: Where did God dictate this? Who is your God? I’m always eager to learn something new, so please quote a Bible passage, a chapter or verse where God decreed that we should practice prejudice. If we are going to use HIS name, we should use it to foster love and understanding among all people, not spread hatred and ignorance and slap God’s holy name on it because it suits us.
Hazelin, my comment was to Stacy Ann, who knows me. I am in an interracial marriage and have a biracial son. She knows my comment was a joke so feel free to unpuff your chest. (hug)
I’ve been with my white spouse for 25 years. I’m biracial but in America that means black. I’m glad to see you didn’t let race and the opinion of others define your life. You must live your own truth and teach it to your children. Those fools aren’t worth they pain they cause.
I’ve had black men say similar things to me, this was after he had said that he doesn’t like black women. Really? What a loser. My husband treats me better than any black man I dated. He has been a real joy. So I say those who make the choice, do so with open eyes and an open heart and rise above the ignorance.
You have a wonderful and beautiful family.
Thanks Isa!
Way to go girls!! I think you guys look great together. Beautiful black women! If white men treat you like a real woman then by all means stick with it. I am a white man married to a filipina that is darker than you Weather Mama. We have a great life together and I think we look good together.
Russell
Thanks Russell!
Hello,
The most important thing is to meet that one person who loves and respects you because no love can survive without respect. Don’t ever mind evil comments. Who knows real love which is the Love of God will NEVER think nor say horrible things to interracial couples.