It’s crazy how much of myself I see in my daughter. Whenever she goes through one of her “I think I’m grown moods,” my Mom or Hubby (sometimes both) are quick to chime in saying, “She gets it from you!”
How can I argue with that? They’re absolutely right. That said, I’ve been thinking a lot about the message I send my kids, especially my daughter.
I often write about my natural hair journey, and the reason behind it. In case you’re new to my blog, I decided to go natural two years ago because I want to set a good example for my kids. I also had a lot of damage from relaxing my hair. Since then, I’ve been sporting my God given curls off-camera, but you can still find me wearing my wig on-camera.
Princess has grown accustom to the switch, but the other day she threw me for a loop when she asked if she could try it on my wigs.
“Am I perpetuating that fake hair is better by letting try it on?” I asked myself. Rather than over think the situation, I got one of the wigs from my room and place it on her head. She giggled and pranced around the house showing off her new look to Daddy. She tried on one after another, and the little comedian she is started impersonating me.
We couldn’t stop laughing. But, I later went back to thinking about the message I’m sending. Does she think mommy wears a wig because she doesn’t like her own hair? Is she going to want to change her hair too? I know you’re probably thinking I’m over analyzing the situation, and you may be right.
But just for kicks, I decided to ask her what she thinks of Mommy wigs.
“Do you like Mommy’s wig?” I asked.
Grinning from ear to ear, “yeah,” she responded.
“Do you like Mommy’s real hair?” I asked.
Still smiling she said, “Yeah.”
“Which do you like better?” I asked.
“I like them both,” she replied.
“Me too,” I said.
So there you have it. She likes them both and she loves her curls too. I guess that puts all my concerns to rest. She had fun playing dress up.
She is SO adorable! Lil’ J loves to wear my old wigs too! I definitely think we over-think things a lot. I don’t think Miss J cares if I’m wearing my hair straight or curly, but I’d like her to know we can do lots of things with out hair and it’s beautiful the way it is. She doesn’t seem to have any issues with her hair right now though because people ALWAYS tell her how beautiful it is. So now she tells me “my curls are special”. Talk about big headed 😉
I can relate to this Mama, when I curl mine with the curling iron I often wonder what my oldest especially thinks. My 4 year old Elodie still doesn’t say much about the differences in our hair but Avarie noticed early on. I wear mine in a braid and ponytails a lot too …especially on weekends just to give mine a break. But Avarie has gone back and forth about liking her curls. One day I straightened hers and she wore it semi-wavy to school the next day. She got in the car at the end of the day and said it drove her crazy. 🙂 hahah… She talked about how hard it was to keep her ponytail up and it kept slipping out of the elastic. I try to remind them that we are all different and God made us the way he intended. So I may not have the same hair as they do and vice versa but we all are beautiful creatures regardless. I tell the girls that I have wavy hair and I just curl it because it’s quicker. If I had their beautiful curls I think my hair would be so easy to just braid and un-braid and go…but I don’t…so we just work with what we have. 🙂
P.S. I miss chatting with you….I hope you are doing well ….we are busy as usual and just managing with our little family. It’s so crazy some days. We never have meals planned…seems like we are just winging it left and right. Hope life as a Mama of two is going well. I know it’s an adjustment for sure. XOXOXOX
Firstly, she is SO FRIGGIN CUTE! She’s definitely having fun playing hair dress-up!
Secondly, you are not over-analyzing; but rather being a conscious mother, that’s a GREAT thing. What I love is that in the moment, you were able to both think critically about your daughter’s perspective / the impact you have on her AND still enjoy the moment with her. Her answers reflect that her understanding of beauty is not limited; she probably gets that from you too 🙂
Me too! I stalk you on instagram. lol. You inspire me. You inspire me to get my butt into shape. Life as a mama of two is crazy!
Awww. I love it. Her curls are special! It was like playing dress up for her. She was happy to get back to her natural curls. Are people still touching Miss J’s hair?
It is crazy…it will calm down in ways soon and get crazier in others…but I take it in stride… 🙂 Happy Thursday
I think its great that you are conscious of this–but your daughter will not be effected. I wear hair pieces–and I press my hair out. I wonder if my daughter (future daughter) will wonder what the real image of beauty is…..
But I think love is the MOST important thing!!! With love– she will grow up with the self confidence that she needs to handle anything that comes her way!! Thanks for sharing this… 🙂
Love this post and we do the same, “She gets it from you!” thing too! I was so concerned about the message I was sending Nia with my hair choices as well, but like Jenn I decided it’s important to show her that hair really is versatile and an accessory – part of her individual style. I emphasize to her all the ways we can wear our hair and when I change it up we’ll talk about often because she initiates the conversation. While I don’t intend to relax Nia’s hair I want her to feel confident in who she is so later down the line she feels secure in making her own body choices.