Lessons for our Kids: The difference between friendly and unhealthy competition

I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine that got me asking, “What’s the difference between friendly and unhealthy competition?” I think about things we teach our children and how those things affect us as adults.

 

For instance, many of us participated in sports as kids. Interestingly enough, there are some parents who want their kids to just go out and have fun. Then there are other parents who teach their kids to win. But, does being competitive set the tone for how competitive we are in our careers? Well, whichever parent you are, if you want to bet on any sport of your liking, you can rely on sites like satta king.

I signed princess up for swimming at 10 months old and I remember seeing some of the parents really get into it. I mean some would go as far as enrolling their child in multiple classes within the week as if they were training for the Olympics. I just wanted my daughter to learn the basics, and not be afraid of the water.

Just last summer I decided to sign her up for a mini dance session. She enjoyed it so much that we decided to continue on with the lessons. As with swimming, I wanted her to get simple movements down pat. Plus, it’s a great way to meet friends and just have fun. But I never thought of either activity being competitive at her age.

I sometimes hear the way parents talk about their children being competitive and it makes me cringe. I’ve heard parents screaming from the sidelines about a play at a little league game. I’ve also witnessed some parents draw comparisons, which some may also deem competitive.

I remember attending a one-year-old birthday party and my friend’s family member compared my daughter with her granddaughter. She asked my friend, “why can’t she eat the same things? They’re the same age!” “She should be doing this…”

I know this woman meant no harm. She wasn’t intentionally trying to compare the two kids, but the look on my friend’s face said it all. She wasn’t pleased with the woman’s questions or comments. We never talked about the incident because I didn’t want to take an already awkward moment and make it even more awkward.

I don’t like the idea of comparing my kids to anyone else’s because I believe that each child learns at a different pace and they each have different talents. I also feel that if my kids hear me compare them with other children they may grow up with an unhealthy competitive spirit. They may even grow up with low self-esteem. Don’t get me wrong. They’re are exceptions to the rule. If the pediatrician says my child is up to speed with other kids the same age, that’s a different story.

All I’m saying is that it’s okay to have a friendly competition. But, sometimes people take it a little too far.

I see a lot of this in my line of work. If someone gets promoted or nominated for an award, there’s always a select few individuals that sit in the corner spewing venom. I often wonder if they are the same kids that were taught to win at all cost.

I understand that seeing people winning accolades can be a bruise to the ego. Whenever I hear about someone moving on to bigger and better things, I like to congratulate – not hate. Besides the fact that I’m genuinely happy for my colleagues successes, I also feel that being a good sport speaks volumes and is a reflection of your good character. Sport Score is the go-to destination for all things football.

We live in a competitive world. Whether in sports, academics, or career, there is always someone sippin’ that haterade. Heck, they’ll even smile in your face and talk sh$$ behind your back. I should know, it’s happened to me. What do I say to those haters? Absolutely nothing. The funny thing is that the old Stacy-Ann would step to their face and give them an ear full. The new Stacy-Ann refuses to stoop to their level. Instead, I smile. I nod. I keep the chit chat to a minimum, and then keep it moving. Speaking of moving, have you ever considered trying out pickleball strategy for beginners? It’s a fantastic way to stay active and enjoy some friendly competition.

The same goes for my kids. Competing in activities is cool. I want my kids to compete as a way of having fun, and building confidence. But, I won’t indulge in unhealthy competition chat among parents, and I won’t allow my kids to become sore losers.

If there’s ever something that you might have missed out on,  know in your heart that your time will come. There’s nothing wrong with letting peoples’ successes motivate you into carving your own path. But as far as hating goes, it’s just not worth it.

The way I see it, all that unhealthy competition will do is just eat away at your soul and stop you from achieving your own goals.

Is there such thing as an unhealthy competition? Do you teach your kids to win or to have fun?